What Does it Mean to Surrender and Accept Defeat?

Dearly Beloved,

In the most recent video I uploaded to YouTube, I talked about how paradoxically necessary it is for people to surrender in order to have more control over their lives. Specifically, I chose to highlight the meaning of surrendering in this context. However, I do believe that this topic requires a more detailed explanation than I was able to cover in a single video. It may be to your benefit to watch the YouTube video below prior to reading what I am about to say. If you have done so (or if you’re just antsy), then let’s start from the beginning and discuss what surrendering means in the context of personal development!

Typically, when people say they “surrender and accept defeat”, they’re associating the statement with a loss of some sort. Such a loss can be rooted in competition, war, discussion, or even a relationship, but, like many things, this only covers part of the truth. Aside from the generics, the deeper meanings of loss can be related to the following:

1. Loss of Self

The loss of self occurs when someone has lost their way in life. They have gone down the wrong path, associated themselves with the wrong people, and drifted away from the better version of themselves they strived to be. Such a change of direction is often caused by mental and emotional ailments derived from forms of sorrow. Although this is a common form of loss, it is also temporary. One is never so lost that they can’t find their way again.

2. Loss of Meaning

Continuing from the loss of self, it can be easy to feel the lack of meaning in one’s efforts and present path if they don’t see or experience any positive results. Without a proper support system and/or positive reinforcement, a loss of self could very well occur if they don’t have the proper tools within themselves to keep moving forward and strive for more. Therefore, it’s important to remember that there’s a reason why every tool in existence can be reforged into something better.

3. Death of Reality

When someone experiences a death of their reality, they are often confronted with a nothingness that surrounds only themselves. In turn, they are forced to face and analyze every aspect of themselves, who they are, who they were, who they surrounded themselves with, and how well (or poorly) their environment was truly structured. In events such as this, people must understand and accept why their present reality had to die in order for them to grow.

4. Death of the Self

Tangential to a death of reality, a death of self is the death of who you are at that very moment. Many of the things you used to enjoy no longer resonate with you, and some of the people you loved to be around no longer understand you like they used to. You’re not the same person that existed before because something in you died and rebirthed into something new. Although this can be negative if the cause is rooted in negativity, it can lead to new experiences and perspectives that heal you in ways that you couldn’t have ever imagined (as long as you’re open to such love).

Although the cases above are but a small sample size of loss, how do they all correlate to surrender? The answer to this question resides in their positive connotations. Each case represents a realm of different possibilities that can occur if you accept the fact that they are necessary. In fact, there are many times when losses similar to these are either lessons for you to learn from or indications that you don’t belong where you are. For times such as these, it is imperative that you not fight violently against all these changes, since it will only lead to you having even less control than before. You will spiral downwards.

Instead, you must be ready and willing to sit with yourself and make a concerted effort to understand why you’re experiencing such losses in the first place. Is it because of something good? Is it because of something bad? Is it because of someone else? Is it because of a panda?!?! These are some examples of the questions that you (or your therapist) must ask and look for answers to. However, while this is occurring, you will find yourself surrendering to the teachers/guides that these losses stem from. 

And therein lies your solution.

Once you surrender a reasonable amount of control to the situation (reasonable meaning that you don’t let the situation spiral out of control) and accept that you can’t fight everything thrown at you, you’ll be able to realize the truth and move on to something better suited to your growth as a person. You’ll be able to find support systems that properly heal you, move past negative situations instead of wasting time and energy fighting against them, align yourself with more joy-filled things, and build a better inner world overall. And this is all because you chose to “surrender and accept defeat”. In terms of dictating the direction of your life, you were able to find more control by surrendering it.

Now, as much as this may sound like bull****, you will find plenty of truth in it once you truly ponder it. After all, sometimes bull**** is quite lovely ;).

Sike! It’s still irritating, but what can you do?! Lol.

Love Always,

Keyshawn